Always
by Cheeseburger of Doom
Summary: [Warlords 8, SanaYuki prequel] In which Yukimura was alive, and Sanada almost knew happiness.


A/N: Wow...number eight! This is the first of about three or four prequels. I felt the need to go back and describe some of what happened way back when.

Warnings: Character death(s), much angst, immoral stuff, street gangs, general unhappiness, weird AU, and etc.

Warlords #8:

Always

I'll love you, always.

Yukimura was a beautiful person. Everyone loved him, and he loved everyone. He'd been born into a gang, so he had to be tough; but he was never ruthless, cruel, or heartless. Yukimura was always kind, and whenever he fought, there was a sad look in his eyes that the one who loved him most wanted desperately to erase.

-----

"Where are you going, Seiichi?" Sanada's self-proclaimed duty was to protect Yukimura from harm, no matter what the cost. He knew that at seven years old, he was really no match for some of the bigger dangers out there, but he swore to do his best.

Yukimura smiled. It was that special smile that made Sanada's heart flutter. He fully intended on being a tough guy when he grew up, so he had to hide that feeling, naturally; but...oh, Yukimura was so _pretty, _sometimes, that he couldn't help it.

"I'm going to look at something forbidden," Yukimura replied.

There was not much that was forbidden to a gang member. They were bad; they stole, they hurt, they killed...what could Yukimura possibly mean?

Sanada followed him, followed him as they walked farther than Sanada had ever been. When they finally stopped walking, Sanada's eyes grew very wide, and he looked on at something he'd never expected to see in the daylight.

"The outside world."

"We shouldn't be here," Sanada whispered. "If someone catches us..."

"We're just two little kids, who's going to care?" Well, Yukimura had a point there. Sanada wanted to see the outside very much. His curiosity was eating him alive.

"I guess we could just walk around for a little while," Sanada said. He stepped out of the alley, and into the sunlight. For a moment, he felt almost free.

Then strong hands pulled him back into the alley.

"What are you doing?" the leader of the gang hissed. "I take my eyes off you two for a second, and you do something stupid! You must never go out there. That world is not for you. The normal people will look down on you. You'll have nowhere to go. You will waste away into nothing, or they'll kill you. Do you understand me?"

Sanada was shaking. "Yes, sir."

"Good. You?"

Yukimura nodded. "I won't do it again, sir."

"Good. Now get back home already."

-----

When Sanada was thirteen, he had already established his "tough guy" image. He had earned the respect of everyone in the gang already, by never losing a fight, and proving invaluable any number of times. He never showed emotion to anyone, not even Yukimura.

Yukimura somehow still seemed to know what he was feeling, though. Somehow.

"You hate the fighting, don't you?" Yukimura asked one night. They lay on the ground, looking up at the stars. Sanada was smoking a cigarette; it would have been something stronger, but he knew that Yukimura didn't like that, much. He didn't like the cigarettes, either, but Sanada needed _something_.

"It's just a part of our life," Sanada said.

"I know that. I hate it, though. I want to be free of it. I want...I want to escape to the outside, someday. You remember that day, when we almost got out there?"

"Yeah, and we got pulled back because it was a stupid idea. We wouldn't be able to survive out there."

"At least that world is not ruled by death. Don't you care anymore, Genichirou?"

"I..."

"Of course you care. I'm sorry for snapping," Yukimura said. "I can tell you care, even if you don't show it. You're still the same person you were years ago."

"You're too nice, Seiichi."

Yukimura smiled; Sanada's favorite smile. "Someone has to make up for your cold exterior, right?"

"I'm cold because that's the way I have to be," Sanada said.

"I know that, too." Yukimura sat up, and crawled closer to Sanada. He looked down into Sanada's eyes, which always seemed very sad, somehow.

"Someday, let's escape together," he said.

"Someday." Sanada didn't want to argue that it was impossible anymore. He wanted to believe that someday, he could take Yukimura away from this place, into a more beautiful world, where he belonged.

Yukimura kissed Sanada, then. It was their first kiss, and Sanada would always remember it.

-----

When Sanada was fifteen, the leader of the gang died in a fight. The man had pretty much raised him, since Sanada's parents had died in a fight before he was even old enough to remember them. He felt no special attachment to the man, though, because he'd been very cruel. Everyone in the gangs tended to end up cruel, sooner or later. It was the way things were.

Sanada hoped that Yukimura never ended up like that. He was fairly certain that he might, since he was to become the next leader.

"You can change things."

Sanada was startled out of his grim thoughts by Yukimura's voice. The other boy was gazing at him with such a look in his eyes that Sanada's heart pounded. It was such an _intense_ look, as if he really believed in what he was saying.

"What do you mean, change things?"

"You can change things in the gangs. End the fighting for good. You have that kind of power," Yukimura said.

"If anyone has that kind of power, it's you." The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. "Everyone loves you. They would listen to you."

"You think that everyone loves me? I wonder about some people," Yukimura said, turning away.

Did Yukimura really think that...? He was usually so good at reading Sanada, why would he doubt that Sanada loved him almost more than he could bear?

Sanada had never been good with words, but he could act. He pulled Yukimura to him, the kiss that they shared was full of enough emotion that Yukimura pulled away with tears in his eyes.

"You're still the same person I knew," he said.

"I hope I always will be," Sanada said. "Being the leader might change me, though. You probably shouldn't stay with me."

He wasn't good enough for someone like Yukimura. He wasn't good enough to breathe the same air, even.

"I want to stay with you, always," Yukimura said.

-----

"Someday, we'll escape this place," Sanada said, to the sleeping Yukimura. "Someday, I'll take you away from here, to the place you belong. Somewhere beautiful."

Did a place like that exist? It must. If a person as beautiful as Yukimura existed, then there must be somewhere beautiful he could go, to escape the sea of death.

Yukimura stirred. "Hm...did you say something?"

"No. Go back to sleep."

"I love you," Yukimura said, then his breathing slowed, and he asleep again.

I love you, too. So much. Always.

-----

Sanada was barely twenty when Yukimura died. They'd been together almost forever. Yukimura still smiled at him sweetly like that, even when he thought that Sanada had stopped caring.

Sanada had to show him so often that he still cared; that he would never stop caring. Sanada had decided that he would do his damn best not to let being the leader change him.

He did try to change things. His gang fought only when they absolutely had to. He'd established a kind of peace with Inui's gang, as well. Atobe's gang did not issue fight challenges often, preferring to wait for challenges from the other gangs.

Mizuki, however, was relentless; and it was Mizuki's gang they fought on that night that would haunt Sanada for the rest of his life.

Sanada had sworn to always protect Yukimura, no matter what. That night, he failed. He was caught up in his fight, and could not get to Yukimura in time to save him.

Yukimura's motorcycle went into the ditch. Sanada's heart stopped beating, and he stopped breathing; time itself just seemed to stop.

When he finally got there, what seemed like hours later, Yukimura was a bloody mess.

"Seiichi! Shit, I'm so sorry..."

"Genichirou. I want...I want you to find out what the outside world is like."

"I'm not going anywhere without you!"

"Listen to me. This is my dying wish. Please...go out there, and...be happy. Promise me you will." Yukimura smiled. It was that special smile that had always made Sanada's heart flutter, and now made it break.

"I promise," Sanada said. Yukimura's body went limp.

For the first time in his life, Sanada cried.

-----

That night, Sanada sped away on his motorcycle. He had a promise to keep, for the man he loved more than anything else in the world. He'd broken his first promise -- he had failed to protect Yukimura from the world.

He would do his best to survive in the outside world, away from everything he'd ever known; and if he failed, that only meant that he would see Yukimura again much sooner.

I'll love you, always. Even if I never said it, you knew.

I love you.


End file.
